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You are here: Home / Animals / Journey With Autism by Donna Sauraq Erickson

Journey With Autism by Donna Sauraq Erickson

July 15, 2011 By Administrator

jeffdonnaericksonMonday, January 17, 2011, Donna Sauraq Erickson of Unalakleet, Alaska, posts the following on her Facebook wall:

I remember the day of my son’s diagnosis.

Autism.

The Doctor’s eyes,

His voice,

Empathy & compassion.

“Lifelong disability”

The nurse’s station in Nome.

No cure.

How his words “I’m sorry” still sting.

Silence.

Unbelievable.

I held my struggling son close, hoping they were wrong.

What was autism?

I had never heard it before.

I had forgotten.

Home.

Endless hours on the internet.

Reading anything I could.

I went to the school district library & checked out 4 big books.

I cried.

I read.

Sleep deprived.

Logan screaming, running, throwing himself against the wall.

Over and over.

And over.

Non stop.

No sleep

One night.

Two nights.

Three.

I called work & said I needed to quit.

My boss flew to Unalakleet.

Told me to take some time off.

4 months.

They sent someone to put an aircraft radio, huge antenna, hand held radio, & phone line.

“You can work at home now”

Blessed.

Autism is messy.

Daily.

Weekly.

Non stop diaper changes

and stripping beds.

Cleaning smeared poop on floors & walls.

Became a habit.

Logan twirling

round and round

and round.

Non stop.

Head banging

Prayer.

Leaning on my strong husband.

Learning to live on no sleep.

“We’ll sleep when we die”

became a private joke.

Tried many things.

The latest cures.

Signed up for the medicaid waiver.

6 year waiting list.

I didn’t have six years.

So I called.

Daily.

Governor Knowles.

Than Murkowski.

3 months straight.

Maybe 4.

At 10 and 3

Everyday.

“Sorry”

Didn’t stop.

My son needs therapy

Now

Not in six years.

Murkowski finally said “Okay

I’ve had enough..”

He decided to come to

Unalakleet

to go fishing

and talk

about autism.

Tom Daschle.

Powder,

envelope.

Terrorism.

Government plane turned around.

“Sorry”

“I can’t make it.”

“We’ll talk another time”

I have no time.

I cried.

Tired.

Need help.

We were too tired to fish.

No dried fish.

No berries.

No subsistence.

It hurt.

Felt Lost.

Days.

Weeks.

Filling out manifests,

did I get the numbers right?

I’m sorry

I would tell pilots.

“It’s okay”

They’d say.

I could see some were sorry

and some didn’t know what to say.

I learned to not let anyone know.

Became a habit.

Prayer.

and more.

Ted Stevens.

Denali Commission.

Looking at the new seawall in town.

“Can you help me?”

No.

That’s state level.

I’m on a federal level.

He saw my tears.

“Talk to me” he said.

I told him everything.

He made a phone call.

The next day Logan had the waiver.

up to 80 thousand dollars a year

for therapy

supplies

treatments.

Trampolines,

trainings

doctors

vitamin b shots

Logan & I went to a conference

We met

Temple Grandin

She helped me

She looked for us in the hotel

“I know what he feels like”

She said.

Press him.

Squeeze him.

He needs it.

Home.

It calmed him down.

but still

Tantrums

crying

sleepless nights

unending.

Poop smeared on walls

bathrooms flooded

washable paint isn’t washable.

Food crushed

on the floor

on the bed

on the couch

in every room

everyday

still today.

non stop

Moaning

Crying

hitting himself on the head.

Prayer.

Exhaustion

Autism is expensive

doctors

medications

sensory equiptment

You cannot go out.

No ball games

No potlucks

No church.

10 years old

still changing diapers

We cheer and clap when a word is finally said

one word.

“Bugging”

Logan said when annoyed.

What joy!

What triumph!

So precious

and innocent

relief when he finally falls asleep

rest from anxiety

his anxiety

his fears

lights on

always lights on

fear of the dark

Unhealthy diet

chips

chips and water

keeping him alive

how does he grow?

Then we met Juke

life saver

comforter

reliable

faithful

Sleep.

for once, sleep.

Logan starts

dressing himself

Accomplishment.

triumph!

he says a word

here

and there

What joy!

Laughter overcomes the tears

Triumph overcomes the devastation

Small accomplishments

Make huge celebrations.

Logan

still pushes

Juke away

But he sleeps better

with him.

and I sleep.

We sleep.

Triumph.

My boys help.

Daily.

Dad takes night shifts

We take turns.

Juke changes this.

So many people to thank

Big hearts

Caring hearts

helping hands.

Logan & Juke are asleep.

My time is up.

Precious sleep

Here I come

tomorrow

continues

Our Journey With Autism.
jukelogan

Filed Under: Animals, Disabilities, Social Science Tagged With: Alaska, Autism, Donna Sauraq Erickson, Logan Erickson, Ted Stevens, Temple Grandin, Unalakleet

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